This part is taken from “Sri Ramana Maharshi” by Kundalmal A.Mahatani
I had the good fortune to hear of Bhagavan for the first time in 1942, through a Sindhi friend of mine, who lent me Paul Brunton’s book, A Search in Secret India. I read it eagerly and was extremely impressed when I learnt for the first time that such a great Sage as Bhagavan did exist in our land.
I ordered at once all the books so far published by the Ashram on Bhagavan’s teachings and went through them with great interest.
I found his teachings very profound, yet direct, simple and easy to grasp. A great longing arose in me to have his darshan, but owing to my domestic circumstances I could not go to the Ashram till early 1944. But in the meantime I kept myself in constant touch with Bhagavan by correspondence. Whatever I could not understand and whatever doubt I had while reading his books, I used to get it solved through letters.
With the grace of Bhagavan I was at last able to go and see him in January 1944. I enjoyed his presence for eleven months at a stretch. After that I used to go to the Ashram every winter and stay there four to five months at a time, till he left his body in April 1950. During my visits I got many knotty questions solved, which I noted down in my diary.
I was present at the time of his last moments amidst us.
The final upadesa (teaching) and the best, which I could get from him, was his so-called illness.
From the point of view of all onlookers, he appeared to be suffering, but it was not so from his own point of view. When many devotees were lamenting his ailment, he used to laugh at them and say, “They have not yet realised that I am not the body and that I am not going anywhere.” Some devotees thought that Bhagavan had taken up the sins of others upon himself and was suffering for their sake to wash off their sins. This idea does not appeal to me. The question is, was he suffering at all? Did he ever complain or groan? Not at all! All the physicians were at a loss to know how he looked so cheerful, in spite of such a terrible painful tumour and four operations. It was as if he was defying all the laws of physiology. He was taking treatment just to please others, though he said that he did not need any. All devotees requested him to cure himself by willpower. He said that he has no will, the body is a burden and it must fall one day. It appeared that his mission was over.
In my humble opinion, he was just demonstrating what a jivanmukta is. Many have heard and read a great deal about the state of a jivanmukta, but he actually demonstrated that state of being above body-consciousness. Was it a small upadesa or a small miracle? It was the same case with Sri Ramakrishna and Christ.
To me Bhagavan is more than all other gods or prophets so far incarnated on earth, such as Rama, Krishna, Buddha, Christ, Mohamed, Nanak and others. I have only read and heard about them, and cannot have proper conception of them. Even the numerous pictures of them are only imaginary, and naturally, they are all different from one another, therefore it is impossible to have an exact conception of any of them. On the other hand I have seen Bhagavan and therefore I have a very clear conception of an ideal to meditate upon.
Even now I feel his presence just as before, when I see his large photo on the couch in the old Hall. It is as if he is sitting there just as usual, with a smiling face and a compassionate look, with this difference only, that now he does not talk but is in mouna (silence).
Blessed and fortunate are those who had the opportunity to see Bhagavan in the body, sit at his feet and hear the sweet flow of wisdom from his lips.
May Bhagavan’s blessings be on every one.