Through the spectacles we see everything, but they are no burden to the eyes. Instead of obstructing the vision, they aid it. Instead of being a screen between our eyes and other objects, they are the elucidator of these objects. So should the relation be between husband and wife. Instead of the one being a hindrance, shut up as it were by the other, each is to see the whole universe through the other. This can only be done if the union be spiritual and on the Vedantic understanding, and on no other conditions, where both of them see the soul and spirit and Atman, rising above the personality, personal regards and surroundings, manners and customs, passions and habits.
As the breath is so close to us but we never feel it, so should the married life be in perfect understanding. No burden! One is not to hang heavy upon the heart of the other. Both free! With either party the thought of the second party is not to be a kind of drawback. At present in the case of married people, the thought of the wife is a hindrance to the spiritual progress of the man. The thought of the husband is a great obstacle and burden upon the woman.
In India men and women throw antimony in their eyes. That is used to strengthen the vision; it remains in the eyes, but it does not obstruct the vision. The very moment it makes itself felt, there is something wrong with it. Just so when you feel the stomach, there is something wrong with it. That is the law.
There was a question put to Rama by the former wife of Rama, “Do you remember me? “Rama said, “No, Rama never remembers. “Remembrance comes in the case of a person who is different from you. Do you remember your eyes, your nose, your hands? Never. They are one with you. When one party becomes one with the other, being one and the same and identical, he cannot remember. These things must be made clear.
When we receive a letter from a friend, we like the letter, we make much of it. We love the letter because of the friend. So should the husband and wife be a kind of letter from God. The body of the husband should be a kind of letter or picture from God. So she may love his body and respect his body, but after all this body should simply be a letter, a picture, a something which is not the thing in itself. Thus she sees God through him. A symbol of Divinity, a picture of God let the husband become. If at night the bodies meet, then in the day time the woman is to make spiritual union. If simultaneously with the bodily union at night, the spiritual union is not felt, then in the day time she is to fill up the gap. With every embrace is to be associated the thought that she is accepting Divinity. Oh Light, come to me. I embrace Light. You might call it Happiness; you might call it perfect purity or union with the whole Universe. Oh Divinity, Wisdom, come to me, I accept you. Thus everything should be made a symbol of Divinity. If it was not felt at night, it can be supplied in the day time. You may simply feel that oneness and marriage. To embrace Divinity, Divinity, Divinity. To feel the whole universe as one’s body. To be the all, the all, the all. This idea is to be constantly kept in mind. Whereas on the one hand Vedanta requests you to dispense with all thought of bodily union, and never let the one body be a burden upon the other, on the other hand it requests you to be continually at one with the real Spirit. All the time you mediate on the thought that Divinity, power, harmony, perfect divine love, universal harmony are in me, I am that, that am I. He is me and I am he. Then you have to see the real Self whom you married, your own Self in the plants, in the trees, in the river, in everything that am I.